Week Six

Injection #4 was 10 ml, for a grand total of 31.5 ml. 

It is a guarantee that every Tuesday morning as I am making the drive to Gillette Children's in St. Paul, I will get anxious. And just as I am certain of this, I can also guarantee that Phillip Phillips will, at some point, grace his voice across the radio waves, telling me...

Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear. The trouble, it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you're not alone, 'cause I'm going to make this place your home.

And then I do the Ooooooh, ooohoooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh and Carter asks me to stop singing. 

We visit the 4th floor of Children's every week, the same floor that I carried my baby girl onto when this all began. We see the same doctors and nurses, have mini-therapy sessions with these doctors and nurses, and they're making our girl BETTER. It is not a scary place anymore. It is safe.

It is home, Phillip Phillips. 

Week Five

When we initially began this process, MONTHS ago and weeks up until October 15, everyone and everything said the same thing: 8 weeks. So, I braced myself and prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for 2 months of tissue expansion--and all that it entails. 5 weeks into this medical marathon and the finish line keeps getting pushed back further...and further. 

And maybe a marathon isn't the best comparison, because I envision smooth pavement, no obstacles or hurdles, and supportive running shoes. Most of the time, I feel like I'm juggling two babies in high heels through the desert. Like when I got the invoice from last week's injection that went something like this-- Blah Blah Blah, 250 ml expander. Earlier I thought Kendall's expander held 70 ml. Nope, 250. There were no running shoes or smooth pavement on that day, I tell ya.

Kendall received her 3rd injection this morning, a total of 7.5 ml and a grand total of 21.5 ml. 

The nurses said they were concerned with her two front corners being so "jagged" (vs. smooth) and that it is possible for the expander to puncture through the skin, which is why they are putting in such small amounts right now. The expander puncturing would mean emergency surgery to remove the expander right away, plus having to repeat the expansion process. This gave me a new perspective on my negative attitude of the timeline, seeing that she is HEALTHY, everything is looking GREAT, no infections, Kendall is handling each injection WONDERFULLY and the hospital staff is FABULOUS--I really have nothing to complain about. I would much rather everything take longer and be done safely and correctly than to try and rush things just to be done. 

Slow and steady wins the race. 

Last week, in a moment of frustration, I told Tony I wish this wasn't happening to her, I wish it was happening to me! He said,it is happening to you.

The timing is fitting as we are entering into a season of FAITH and HOPE and PEACE--the three things that I need the most right now. And perhaps the three things that I am learning the most about. Thanks for reading and thanks for supporting.

Week Four

FOUR weeks in and TWO injections down! They put in another 7 ml for a total of 14 ml.

Kendall did GREAT! I had both kids with me by myself this time and they were both awesome. Carter distracted Kendall by blowing bubbles with one of the nurses and she didn't even notice anything was going on! 

Some of you have asked what this process entails, so let me explain...

First, I numb the port with some heavy-duty prescription numbing cream right as we leave for the hospital. The nurse cleans the port, then sticks a rather large needle into it. The needle is connected to a syringe by a long tube that carries the saline. She holds the syringe up like an IV and dispenses small amounts at a time. While she is doing this, the other head nurse is pushing on Kendall expander to see how much it can hold, how it is shaping, and to make sure she can handle the amount of pressure. They usually stop at 5 ml, then say okay one more. Then one more--okay that's good. The amounts will vary and hopefully increase each week. 

The nurse explained that they are creating a pregnant belly on Kendall's head--modern medicine is amazing, yet very strange :) 

I think when challenges arise, we have two options: be bitter or get better. I know that God is teaching me patience and compassion in ways that are making me a better mom and stronger person. And although young, I know Kendall will be tougher having gone through this experience.